It seems that in the near future we may have to face confinement in our own homes for weeks or months at a time – what a prospect! What are we do to while we’re banged-up, so to speak? I suggest that we follow the example of someone with experience of this and Norman Stanley Fletcher springs to mind. Fletch was described by his sentencing judge as ‘an habitual criminal’ but he certainly knew how to cope doing porridge at Slade Prison.
You may be indignant that I should offer even a fictional criminal as an illustration of how we should behave in our enforced incarceration but Fletch faced years of tedium and coped with aplomb and a certain amount of grace. We may not be old lags but we should imitate what real prison inmates do (not as in robbing banks or nicking cars) and copy what they do to get through long hours spent in four walls.
Those detained at Her Majesty’s Pleasure have exercise times when they trudge around a yard exchanging hints and tips with other felons. We can do the same – except for the associating with felons bit – and take walks away from other people or even walk around our living rooms and up and down stairs to keep muscles active.
I understand that prisoners no longer sew mail bags as postmen don’t use them, preferring red rubber bands that can be easily discarded on driveways, but their sewing skills are still used. Now their stitches are finer and Fine Cell Work teaches prisoners how to embroider cushions and the makers earn up to £1,500 a year.
Prison gardens are tended by inmates; a beautiful garden at Chelsea Flower Show had been done by inmates of a prison. Haverigg Prison has quite a line (pun intended) in smoked fish although I don’t think any old lags are allowed out in boats in case they sail off into the sunset.
So, there are a few options: gardening, sewing, walking. Artists will have plenty of time to paint wonderful pictures. If we are all extremely good we may be given parole for good behaviour and get let out before 4 months are up – and there’s always the telly!
And I will have no excuse not to finish the novel ……
